A mother's laundry never ends

I was probably told by 100 people that once I have a baby I’ll do laundry every day.  This was a mystery to me.  Mostly because when dolling out parenting facts to a pregnant woman, 99% of the people don’t quantify anything, they just spout facts at you like you are an idiot.  

“This is going to be a real eye opener for you.”

“If you think you are busy now…”

“Ha!  Good luck sleeping for the next year.”

“You are going to have more laundry than you ever thought possible.” 

What? Why? Who said…?  Nevermind.  Stop talking. [smile and nod]

I never babysat small children and apparently was quite adamant at 17 that I thought kids were brats and I didn’t want any.  I don’t know anything about raising kids I didn’t read in a book, and I didn’t start reading those books until I knew there was a child inside me.  How can such a little thing have so much laundry?  I only do laundry once a week, how can that change?  I can go from 1-2 loads to 2-3 loads in one day without much of a fuss.  (Note: Tim and I almost always do laundry separately, it works better that way.)  Kids are so small!  Their clothes can fit in the pocket of my jeans!

Well, what no one tells you is that babies don’t just wear one outfit a day.  They wear 30(ish).  It is 11 am, we woke up at 9 and he’s wearing the 3^rd outfit of the day.  I also have to wash my bed sheets and my pajamas (he spit up on them) and his crib sheets (he peed there).  I wear 3 shirts a day, unless I don’t mind smelling like spit-up or happen to be so busy I don’t have time to change.  

Tim also changes now when he comes home from work.  Asbestos in your crawlspace?  We found that. Squirrel nest in your attic? Found that too.  Attison is not going to eat it so we’re doing more laundry than before. 

Attison also puts everything in his mouth, so if it is questionable it is now dirty (whereas before if it was questionable, I wore it again, just for good measure).  Blankets, towels, pillowcases…probably dirty.  

Once this winter, the roommates were watching TV (Downton Abby to be exact) and someone said “oh I can’t use that blanket, it makes me sneeze.”  We used to be that house.  A blanket makes you sneeze? Just don’t use it.  It doesn’t make everyone else sneeze, so we probably don’t have to wash it.   Not anymore!  Blankets get washed.  Couch covers….washed.  Washing machine…washed!

So to my not-yet-parent friends – be ready to launder.  Buy a waterproof mattress cover.  Buy 2.  Get a washing machine with a hot rinse option (especially if you are cloth diapering).  Get some more laundry baskets while you are at it because unless you quit your job and hire out some of the other housework, that laundry is not going to be folded as soon as that “end of cycle signal” rings.   

And while you are at it – turn of the damn end of cycle signal.