I was probably told by 100 people that once I have a baby I’ll
do laundry every day. This was a mystery
to me. Mostly because when dolling out
parenting facts to a pregnant woman, 99% of the people don’t quantify anything,
they just spout facts at you like you are an idiot.
“This is going to be a real eye opener for you.”
“If you think you are busy now…”
“Ha! Good luck
sleeping for the next year.”
“You are going to have more laundry than you ever thought
possible.”
What? Why? Who said…?
Nevermind. Stop talking. [smile
and nod]
I never babysat small children and apparently was quite adamant
at 17 that I thought kids were brats and I didn’t want any. I don’t know anything about raising kids I
didn’t read in a book, and I didn’t start reading those books until I knew there
was a child inside me. How can such a
little thing have so much laundry? I
only do laundry once a week, how can that change? I can go from 1-2 loads to 2-3 loads in one
day without much of a fuss. (Note: Tim
and I almost always do laundry separately, it works better that way.) Kids are so small! Their clothes can fit in the pocket of my
jeans!
Well, what no one tells you is that babies don’t just wear
one outfit a day. They wear 30(ish). It is 11 am, we woke up at 9 and he’s wearing
the 3rd outfit of the day. I
also have to wash my bed sheets and my pajamas (he spit up on them) and his
crib sheets (he peed there). I wear 3
shirts a day, unless I don’t mind smelling like spit-up or happen to be so busy
I don’t have time to change.
Tim also changes now when he comes home from work. Asbestos in your crawlspace? We found that. Squirrel nest in your attic? Found
that too. Attison is not going to eat it
so we’re doing more laundry than before.
Attison also puts
everything in his mouth, so if it is questionable it is now dirty (whereas
before if it was questionable, I wore it again, just for good measure). Blankets, towels, pillowcases…probably
dirty.
Once this winter, the roommates were watching TV (Downton
Abby to be exact) and someone said “oh I can’t use that blanket, it makes me
sneeze.” We used to be that house. A blanket makes you sneeze? Just don’t use
it. It doesn’t make everyone else
sneeze, so we probably don’t have to wash it.
Not anymore! Blankets get washed. Couch covers….washed. Washing machine…washed!
So to my not-yet-parent friends – be ready to launder. Buy a waterproof mattress cover. Buy 2.
Get a washing machine with a hot rinse option (especially if you are
cloth diapering). Get some more laundry
baskets while you are at it because unless you quit your job and hire out some
of the other housework, that laundry is not going to be folded as soon as that “end
of cycle signal” rings.
And while you
are at it – turn of the damn end of cycle signal.
